


Borrowed Eyes

by Moonshoes_Potter



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men: First Class - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blind!Charles, Charles POV, Charles isn't paralyzed, Fluff, Happy Ending, He's blinded, M/M, Protective!Erik, hello children time for sadness, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11727624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonshoes_Potter/pseuds/Moonshoes_Potter
Summary: Hey these sad fics are fun~~~~~Instead of ricocheting the bullets, Erik splits them into pieces, a bunch of which go flying into Charles' face. He's permanently blinded, but at least he has Erik to see for him.





	1. Prologue

_“Your move”_

_As Charles admired the crackling fire, he was brought back to long nights spent in this very chair, reading one of the many books in his family’s library under a blanket. It was a fond memory, one so clear it made its way into Erik’s mind as well. Charles silently apologized and drew it back, but Erik just smiled warmly. They made eye contact and, their chess game lying forgotten, shared a memory of Erik’s -- his mother reading The Hobbit to him._

_“I loved that book. It was one of only a few that we could afford.” Erik broke his gaze, reminded that Charles faced much less hardship as a child._

_“After tomorrow, I'll show you all the best ones. We can make a day of it.” Charles glanced around with a thoughtful look in his eyes. “I can still remember where I put most of my favorites.”_

_Erik smiled sadly. He had a feeling that tomorrow their friendship would be put to the test._

~~~~~

Charles’ heart dropped when he lost connection to Erik’s mind. That was the moment he was lost. He almost broke his concentration and released Shaw in despair, but part of him hung on, the part that had known Erik would turn from the beginning. The part that had prepared for the worst. 

A sharp pain pierced his forehead as Erik pushed the old coin into Shaw’s skull. Charles’s only solace was found in Erik’s whispers of “I'm sorry, Charles,” heard through Shaw’s ears. Charles held on until he was sure Shaw was dead. Even a second left of life with his power would be enough to kill Erik. Despite their differences, it was enough for Charles to endure the pain of death. 

Once it was over, Charles collapsed to the floor, overwhelmed by agony and emotion. Raven rushed to his side, but he waved her away. She slowly stood up, her eyes fixed on something outside the jet. Charles looked up to see Shaw’s limp form floating far above the sand, then it fell to reveal Erik. He wore the helmet designed to keep Charles out, as if to add insult to injury. 

“Take off your blinders, brothers and sisters,” Erik shouted to everyone on the beach, “The real enemy is out there. I feel their guns moving in the water, their metal targeting us. Americans, Soviets, humans. United in their fear of the unknown. The Neanderthal is running scared, my fellow mutants. Go ahead, Charles. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Charles reached out and yes, every battleship had the beach in its sight. Moira ran to the jet in an attempt to call off the attack, but to no avail. As the guns fired, Charles knew exactly what was going to happen next without needing to read Erik’s mind. Sure enough, the missiles froze above the water as Erik extended his arm.

In a desperate attempt to change his mind, Charles pleaded, “Erik, you said yourself, we’re the better men. This is the time to prove it.” The missiles turned to face their makers. “There are thousands of men on those ships. Good, honest, innocent men! They’re just following orders.”

“I’ve been at the mercy of men just following orders.” Erik turned to face Charles. He couldn’t read his mind, but Charles knew that look. “Never again.” And he let them fly.

“Erik, release them!” Charles tackled Erik to the ground. It broke his concentration momentarily, but Erik shoved him off and set them back on their course.

Charles started to get up and saw Moira pointing a gun at Erik. She knew he could have disassembled it if he’d been paying attention, but the element of surprise was all they needed. As the bullets flew, the last of the missiles exploded in midair or dropped into the water. Charles could hear the humans’ mental cheers of relief. But it wasn’t over yet.

Erik was splitting the bullets into pieces as fast as Moira shot, not caring where the shrapnel ended up. Not until Charles screamed as it peppered his face. Charles fell to the ground in anguish. He was vaguely aware of Erik scooping him up and cradling his head before the metal was pulled from his skin. The last thing saw before blacking out was Erik’s fading face as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Charles. I’m so sorry.”


	2. By My Side

_Erik stared at Charles’ limp body for a moment before turning to Moira, a murderous look spreading across his face. “You. You did this,” He growled, tightening her dog tags around her neck._

_Raven stepped between them, tears in her eyes but her voice sure. “No, Erik. You did.” Erik froze as the guilt struck him. She glanced to make sure Moira was released then turned to Azazel. “Can you teleport us to a hospital?” She asked._

_He nodded and walked over to Erik with his arms outstretched. Erik snapped back to reality and shook his head. Azazel sighed and put his hand on his shoulder, then motioned for everyone else to follow. They all joined hands and disapparated._

~~~~~

 

Charles woke up in a bed, but kept his eyes closed. This was not his bed, so he wanted to know who was there before letting them know he was awake. He swept the room with his mind and found two entities nearby: one was a nurse named Angela, the other was--

“Charles?” Both people rushed to the bed when they heard his sharp intake of breath. “Charles, are you awake?”

“Don’t get up, sir,” Charles felt Angela’s hand on his chest. He winced slightly at the pain and lay back into his pillows. “Can you open your eyes for me?” He did so, but then his world turned sideways.

“I can’t see,” He whispered in disbelief. “I can’t… I can’t see.” He felt a hand clasp his, and it wasn’t Angela’s.

“Sir, you suffered severe damage to your eyes,” The nurse explained calmly, “Both optic nerves were pierced and damaged beyond repair. We managed to stitch up your face, but I’m sorry, sir. We did the best we could, but you’ll never see again.”

“You said you could fix him,” Charles heard someone breathing fast. “You said--”

“Erik.” Charles squeezed his hand. He addressed the nurse, “Would you mind giving us a moment, please?”

“Sure. I’ll be outside. Call if you need me.” The door shut.

“Charles…” Erik exhaled shakily.

“Erik,” Charles turned his head in the direction of the familiar void made by that damned helmet. “It was an accident. I don’t blame you for this.” He gestured at his face. “But please, I need to know. You don’t have to talk, just… take it off.”

Erik hesitated, but Charles’ blank eyes convinced him to pull the helmet over his head. Charles immediately reached out and looked through Erik’s memories. The beach. Azazel teleporting them to the hospital. Erik laying him on the bed. Raven running to retrieve someone. Erik telling the others to “go home and rest”. Raven insisting that Erik do the same as he paced around the room. Erik never leaving Charles’ side, remaining awake all through the night. And finally, Erik’s eyes now resting on Charles, who didn’t realize he’d been crying.

Erik melted upon seeing Charles’ beautiful blue eyes turned red and scarred. Even if Charles didn’t hold his mistake against him, the pain was Erik’s fault. “I’m sorry.”

Charles smiled. “My friend, you are not the only one who has ever made a mistake. I of all people know that it doesn’t do good to dwell on such actions.” He reached out his other hand to take Erik’s. “Just… please don’t run away, okay?”

Erik blinked away a tear and agreed. “But I have to retrieve something first.” He released his grip and walked into the hallway. Charles heard the nurse come back in and insist he get some rest. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

~~~~~

_Raven stood up when she saw Erik walk out of the room. He stood aside to let the nurse in, then closed the door quietly. Had he been crying? She didn’t push._

_“How is he?” Erik didn’t look at her._

_“I’m going to the mansion,” Her eyes widened, but then he added. “I’ll be back. Can you call Azazel?”_

_“Sure," She said slowly, pulling out her phone._

_Once they returned, Erik went immediately to Charles’ door. “He’s sleeping,” The nurse whispered. Erik nodded and stepped inside._

~~~~~

Charles woke up to a weight on his legs and a hand around his own. Erik had evidently fallen asleep in a chair next to his bed, resting his head on Charles, who smiled.

Charles reached out to stroke Erik’s hair. He was so peaceful, Charles wished he could see his face. He gave a gentle push with his mind to wake him up. He could feel Erik’s face heat up a little when he woke.

“Good morning, Erik,” Charles smiled. “Do you mind my asking where you went?”

“I went back to the library at the mansion. I thought you’d be bored, so I got a book to read.” Erik cleared his throat and began, “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort…”


	3. Harder than it Looks

_“How long will he be staying here?”_

_“We’ll have to see if the swelling goes down soon. If it does, he can leave in a few days. Otherwise we need to keep him here for longer.” Angela finished reading off her clipboard and looked up at Raven and the others. “Unfortunately, visitation hours are almost over, so anyone outside of Charles’ family should say their goodbyes now.”_

_“He's asleep,” Erik reported as he emerged from Charles’ room and sat in one of the hallway chairs. He was clutching a book close to his chest._

_“I’m his sister,” Raven affirmed. Hank, Sean, Alex, Azazel, and Angel turned to leave. Erik stayed seated, but the nurse didn't question it._

_“We’ll be checking in every few hours. I advise you two get some rest too,” Angela looked between them and added. “The armchair unfolds into a bed,”_

_“I'll take the first shift,” Erik mumbled as they stepped into the room. “You can sleep.” He situated himself in his chair and prepared for a long night. No way he was going to let Charles out of his sight._

~~~~~

Charles jumped awake. There was something very cold on his chest, which he soon realized was the end of a stethoscope. “Try to stay still, sir,” He recognized Angela’s voice. “Just a midnight check-up. You can go back to sleep in a minute.”

“Raven? Is she awake?” Charles asked.

“Oh, she and your husband went to get food for the three of you.”

“My what? Who… Erik?” Charles stuttered. “No, we’re not… He’s not my husband.”

Angela paused. “Oh… sorry.” Charles had half a mind to wipe her memory and just forget this happened. Luckily she finished up pretty quickly after that.

Charles heard the door open and his heart leaped when he smelled the food they’d brought. He smiled and thanked them as they sat down.

“Sleep well?” Raven handed him a sandwich. “Erik’s been awake all night.”

“Good God, Erik,” Charles almost dropped it. “Why?”

“I wasn’t tired,” It was a lie; his words were slurred and Charles could feel his elbow resting heavily on his bed.

“Go to sleep. You don’t need to worry. Raven’s here, isn’t she?” Charles felt a tug at his mind.

 _“I can’t sleep,”_ Erik thought, embarrassed. 

_“I can help.”_ Charles responded, reaching his hand out. The moment his fingers met Erik’s forehead, he collapsed onto Charles’ lap.

“Charles!” Raven exclaimed, but her voice revealed a trace of amusement. “Looks like it’s my shift.”

“I can take care of myself, Raven.” Charles patted her hand. “You need rest too. I can feel the tiredness radiating from your brain.”

“If you insist.” And she too fell immediately to sleep.

The next morning Erik was still sound asleep on Charles, who was getting restless from laying in bed for so long. He gently picked up Erik’s head and extracted his legs from underneath him. Only after he’d stood up did Charles realize he had no idea where anything in this room was. 

“Erm…” Erik and Raven were asleep. Charles couldn’t sense any other mutants nearby, so that left the nurse. “Angela?” He called out. The door opened a few moments later and Angela’s footsteps echoed through the quiet room.

“Oh, you’re up!”

“I can’t lay still for any longer. But I’m quite inept at walking without sight.” Charles was liking this dependence on others less and less by the second.

“If you want, the hospital has provided you with a cane.” Charles nodded and Angela paused, most likely picking it up. Charles felt the rubbery handle being pressed into his hand. “You know how to use it?”

“I believe so.”

“I’d stand back. He’ll probably whack you in the shins.” Welp, Raven was awake. Charles sighed and started sweeping the cane back and forth in front of him.

“Would one of you mind pointing me in the direction of the door please?” He asked sheepishly.

Walking with a cane was more difficult than Charles had originally thought. Walls materialized out of thin air in front of him, tables that the cane missed hit him in the side, and nothing was where he thought it was. A unique part of the experience was Charles’ ability to sense other minds and where they were in relation to him, but nothing around them. He once tried smiling at Raven, but then smacked his cane against the wall between them.

Charles finally resigned to go back to his room, miraculously not having gotten himself lost. He heard someone stand up when he opened the door. Erik, he sensed.

“You’re up,” Erik observed.

“My eyes were damaged, not my legs,” Charles retorted. “I’m perfectly capable of getting up and walking.”

“The misplaced chairs and cart say otherwise.” Erik’s voice was dripping with mirth.

“...Shut up.” Charles felt around for the bed and sat down. “I sincerely hope I don’t have to sleep here again.”

“That’s what I’ve come to talk about.” Charles jumped. How long had Angela been standing there? “We just need to get some paperwork in order and you’re free to go!”

“Lovely. I’ll read it to you, Charles.” Charles nodded gratefully. Raven excused herself to call Azazel.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of them walked outside. Charles could feel the heat of the sun on his face. He wished he could see his surroundings. It was probably a beautiful day.

“Where the fuck are we?” Erik asked, bewildered. 

“Key West, Florida,” the teleporter answered. “Ready?” He put his hand on Charles’ shoulder as he nodded. A loud _BAMF_ and they were gone.


	4. Sometimes Home Isn't a House

Charles didn’t feel them teleport, but he knew when they’d arrived even without sight. The smell of the flowers in the garden, the sound of the wind rustling the trees, and the gravelly ground underfoot. Unfortunately, none of this helped him find the door. Erik took his arm and led him when he voiced his concern.

“Charles, you should learn to use your cane. Erik’s not gonna be here to escort you through life.” Raven teased.

“I just need to find the door. I think I know my way around my own house well enough.” Charles said, exasperated.

“Stairs.” was all Erik had to say on the subject.

Once inside, he let go and Charles was alone again. He swept the cane back and forth, turning right towards his office. He almost tripped on Erik walking in front of him to open the door. Charles sat down at his desk slowly, and relaxed at the familiarity of his old chair. 

He felt around his desk for all the papers scattered about. To think that these sheets once differed, as they lay identical to one another in his hands, was unnerving. “Is there anything of importance here?” He asked, holding out the stack.

Raven shuffled through them for a moment before responding, “Not really. I'll go recycle them.”

“How are you feeling, Charles?” Erik sat down across from him. 

Charles rubbed his temple. “Like I've got a blindfold on, but even though I know it's not really there, I keep hoping someone will pull it off.” They sat for a few minutes in silence until Raven returned, then Charles excused himself to his room.

Falling asleep the next few days was easy. Waking up was the hard part. They had no students, no schedule, no purpose. They did have a gaggle of mutants with drastically different opinions on most things, so a fight was always brewing. Erik didn’t approve of avoiding conflict, but Charles managed to convince him to help him break them up.

Charles often invited Erik into his bedroom or his office (and sometimes Erik would let himself in) to read together. They finished The Hobbit and moved to The Fellowship of the Ring. Erik usually sat across from Charles at his desk or in a chair next to his bed, like in the hospital. 

As a gift, Raven got him a copy of the book in Braille. He started following along with Erik in an attempt to learn it, but he often got frustrated. Erik just pat his hands and continued reading. It was a kind gesture, but it slowed progress. 

One day while they were reading in the office and Charles was particularly exasperated, Erik stopped. “You can look into somebody else’s mind and see what they see, right?” He queried thoughtfully.

“I mean, I can… but I’ve only done it a few times. It’s quite a violation of privacy, isn’t it?” Charles could practically hear the gears turning in Erik’s head. “Erik, even if I only aim to see, I’ll still hear everything else going on as well. I can’t ask you to…” 

“Charles,” He stopped rambling. “My mind isn’t a toddler’s food bowl. I can keep my thoughts from spilling over well enough. And…” Erik paused. “It’s worth letting you see again.”

“Erik, I don't think this is a good--”

“Just try it. Please.” His tone contained a hint of desperation, but Charles didn’t dwell on it.

“Very well. I need to put my hands on your head.” Charles reached out as Erik walked over and knelt to his left. As his fingers met Erik’s temples Charles’s brain absorbed the image before him. The sunlight was falling through the windows. Ivy crawled across the glass. Books of every color were stacked up against each other in a comforting clutter. Everything Charles had admired about this office was captured in Erik’s view of this one moment.

Then there was Charles. Seeing his own face through Erik’s eyes was different than looking in a mirror. His face had no flaws. His hair looked fine, his skin was clear, even his eyes, scarred as they were, didn’t seem half bad. Charles had no idea this was how Erik saw him.

“Erik…” Charles began. “Thank you.”

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Raven made her presence known. The door must have been left open. As Erik turned, Charles saw she had changed into her natural blue form. 

“Raven,” Charles breathed.

“Yeah?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Raven blushed a darker blue and widened her eyes. “You can see me?

“He’s seeing what I see,” Erik explained.

She nodded and responded, “Well, I thought we should go shopping. Maybe we could get you some new sunglasses, Charles.”

“Splendid idea. I’d like to get changed first.” Charles stood up and let go of Erik, the image fading away.

~~~~~

_“Erik, what are you thinking?” Raven hissed as Charles left the office, “Are you just gonna let him torture himself like that?”_

_“I just… I can’t watch him stumble around when I could be doing something about it,” Erik didn’t make eye contact._

_“Erik, if he’s depending on you to see, he’ll never learn to accept being blind,” After a moment she sighed, “He’ll never be able to cope with you leaving anywhere.”_

_“Yes he will. He’s a good man.” Charles was calling them. Erik glanced at her and walked out._

~~~~~

“Which of these jackets match?” Charles asked, holding them up. He was wearing a purple dress shirt and grey pants. One of the two jackets he was holding was the same as the pants, which surprised Erik, because Charles owned roughly two thousand different ones. He knew they would feel slightly different, but distinguishing them would still be difficult. It’s like they say, when one sense goes the others get stronger.

“The one in your left hand.” 

“Thank you,” Charles shrugged the jacket on and grabbed the cane leaning against his bed. “Could you escort me please?” He said, reaching his hand out. As he clasped Erik’s arm, Charles asked, “May I share your vision?”

Erik agreed and Charles once again began taking in the image before him, but was once again interrupted by Raven. “Ready to go?” She zipped up her coat and morphed into her usual disguise. The two men nodded. “Cool. Everyone is coming with us.” 

Charles reached out to all the minds in the house, telling them to meet him in the foyer. Erik didn't look at Raven again, so neither of them saw Raven’s face filled with disapprobation. The others arrived, joined hands, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.


	5. Sunglasses, Ice Cream, and Pain

It must have been quite a sight to onlookers -- seven people, one of whom had bright red skin and a tail, all walking into Sunglass Hut -- but Charles didn’t see anyone staring at them in Erik’s vision. They all split up into groups, Charles keeping his arm around Erik’s. Alex and Angel looked for a cool pair of Ray-Bans, but Sean and Raven conspired to find the dorkiest pair they could. The two of them eventually settled on gold frames with small, oval lenses. 

Erik had other ideas, however. He found a large brown pair of aviators and held them up close to his face for Charles to inspect. While the others put much thought into their choices, these were eventually the ones Charles decided on. Before handing them to him, Erik snuck one last look at them. He had modified the design a little; the two bars in the bridge now crossed each other into an “X”.

Charles rolled his eyes but put them on anyway. “Alright, now what?”

“C’we get ice cream?” Sean asked excitedly.

“I don’t think--”

“Ice cream! Ice cream!” Raven, Sean, Angel, and Alex started chanting. People were definitely staring now. 

“Alright! Fine!” Charles saw a blush creeping up his face in the corner of Erik’s eye. “You are all acting like children…” He grumbled, but only Erik heard him. Everyone else was running up to the counter in the ice cream shop. 

Raven glanced distastefully at the pair, then put on a neutral expression and grabbed Erik’s arm. “Hey, can I borrow you for a sec?” She pulled him away without an answer. The two of them stood several feet from the others, who were ordering their treats. Charles floundered for a moment, having lost his guide. 

“What?” Erik accused.

“Look at him.” Raven thrust her hand out angrily, gesturing at Charles. He was still standing in the place Erik had left him, trying his hardest not to look completely clueless. “Is this how you want him to live? Dependent on you?”

“I’m just trying to help him.”

“Does he look like it’s helping?” Raven’s skin flickered blue for a moment; her concentration was slipping. “He needs to face it, not ignore it.”

“He’s blind! Am I just supposed to stand by and watch him struggle when I could be helping him?” Erik’s voice was getting louder. He took a breath.

“Sure, help him _learn_ , but stop doing everything for him! If you carry a child all the time it’ll never learn how to walk!” Erik said nothing, but the silverware and napkin box from a table nearby started to compress as if made of rubber. The old man sitting at the table rolled his eyes and moved to another, muttering to himself. “Look, I know you think this is your fault or whatever, but being blind isn’t that bad as long as he _learns to deal with it_. Besides, there’s nothing you can do to fix it, so you might as well accept it. He needs to do the same.” Raven adjusted her coat in a huff and left to order ice cream.

Erik sat in silence as they all ate ice cream. He could feel Charles in his mind, watching everything. Now that he was focused on it, Erik could feel Charles grieving his sight. He was still denying the truth. 

They went home, Charles still wrapped around Erik’s arm and mind. He steered the telepath towards his room and sat them down on the bed to talk. 

“What is it, Erik?” Charles looked at him quizzically. It was surreal, looking himself in the eye. 

“Charles, you must stop doing this to yourself,” Erik sighed.

“Sorry, what?”

“You can't live life through borrowed eyes. As much as it pains me to do so, I can't let you look through mine anymore. It's only hurting you.” Erik put his hand on Charles’s. “You have to stop.”

“What are you talking about? I’m just looking. I can manage perfectly fine on my own.” Charles’s voice was rising slightly. 

“No you can't. I see your face whenever I break away… You get lost the instant you're without sight.” Erik’s voice was calm, because he knew Charles wouldn't be. 

“I can't see, Erik!” Charles ripped his hand away. His face felt hot. “You have no idea what it’s like! A whole part of my life is gone!” He paused, his face hardening. “This is your fault,” He said quietly. 

Erik clasped his hands together. “I know. That's why I wanted to help by lending you my sight. But now I see that it I was actually doing the opposite.” They sat for another minute. 

“Get out.” Charles’s voice was cold as ice. 

“Charles-”

“This is your bloody fault, Erik! Get OUT!” Charles stood up and shoved Erik to the door. He slammed it shut and slid down to the floor, head in his hands. 

~~~~~

_Erik stormed off. Charles had a right to be angry, but that didn't make Erik dislike it any less. He opened the cabinet in Charles’s office where the liquor was stored and poured himself a glass._

_“Didn't go well, huh,” Raven leaned against the doorframe. “It's good you talked about it.”_

_“Please go away, Raven.” Erik didn't look at her._

_Raven left to find Sean and Alex. Annoying as they were, they were good listeners._

~~~~~

Charles lost track of time. His mind was blank. Everyone was asleep. He finally stood up to get some water to make up for dehydrating himself by crying. But he didn't wipe his tears. 

He felt pathetic, using the cane within his own house, but now was as good a time as any. The quiet _tap, tap, tap_ echoed through the empty halls. After quenching his thirst, Charles walked around the mansion aimlessly, and eventually he found himself outside Raven’s door.

When they were children, it was usually Raven coming into his room, scared from a nightmare or memories of her past. These were the times he learned to put people to sleep with a touch. 

He knocked. Raven opened the door and ushered him in without a word. Charles clutched his cane in both hands, unable to form words. She pulled him into an armchair and sat adjacent to him. “What’s wrong?” Raven knew what it was, but he needed to say it aloud.

Charles let out a ragged sigh, “It’s…” _Erik is being a dick,_ he wanted to say. That would’ve been so much simpler. “I wish I could see again. Just… just for a moment.” He trailed off.

“Why?”

Charles buried his head in his hands. “So I can see his face.”

Raven put her hand on his. “Charles, you’ve gotta stop denying it.”

“What?”

“All of it. You’re blind, and Erik--”

“Erik treats me like a child,” Charles interrupted her halfheartedly. “I don’t know why I even--”

“Charles,” Raven’s voice was sympathetic. “He’s blaming himself and trying too hard to make up for it. He’s not the only one confused with his feelings.” That surprised Charles. Even though he was the telepath, Raven was better at reading people than he was. He slouched against the back of the chair and stayed silent. “Do you… wanna talk about it?”

“I… I’m going back to bed.” Charles stood up and walked out, ignoring Raven wishing him sweet dreams.


	6. Isolation

His dreams were most definitely not sweet. They swirled and warped like he was viewing them through misshapen glass. Sounds were muffled as if he was underwater. Charles was in the mansion’s kitchen, decades previous. He cowered behind his mother, who was trying to reason with his stepfather. He shouted and swore at them, brandishing a gun angrily. Charles couldn’t hear him, but he knew what he was saying, “ _He's a worthless freak!_ ” Just like always. 

The scene shifted and Charles was in Cuba again. Moira shot at Erik, who split the bullets apart in slow motion. Charles watched as they flew into his face and collapsed from the pain. He saw Erik immediately rush to his side, catching him before he hit the ground. The last thing Charles ever saw with his own eyes was Erik’s face, his eyes filled with tears. Then Charles’s perspective changed and he watched himself pass out. He saw Erik kiss him on the forehead and stand up with Charles held closely in his arms.

The nightmares plagued his sleep for weeks. But they were still better than facing real life. Charles hardly left his room for more than the bathroom or food. Raven tried to engage, but he'd brush her off and return to his room. He avoided Erik at all costs. 

One day after a particularly brutal bout of dreams. Charles woke to a knock on his door. It was Raven. No use in trying to ignore her now. He sat up and called, “Come in.”

“Hey,” The smell of bacon and eggs would have cheered him up immensely under different circumstances. “Erik made you breakfast. He said you probably wouldn't want to see him.”

“Thanks, but I'm not hungry.”

“You've been asleep for twelve hours. Eat,” Raven insisted, shoving the plate into his lap and a fork into his hand. Charles obeyed reluctantly. The food was delicious, but he was still numb. 

“I'm going back to bed.” He set the fork down. 

“Sleeping won't make you feel any better. You gotta go talk to him,” Raven insisted. There was no telling her otherwise. Besides, Erik did make Charles breakfast.

“Alright. But in a bit. I want to get dressed first.”

~~~~~

_Raven strolled into the kitchen proudly with the empty tray. “Success. Charles is gonna talk to him after he gets dressed.”_

_“Okay,” Sean rubbed his hands together. “Still waiting on Alex.”_

_“Waiting on him for what?” Erik walked through the door._

_“To get you,” Alex stepped in behind. “The professor wants to talk to you.”_

~~~~~

Charles picked up an old t-shirt and some jeans. If he tried to match some formal clothes together, they'd most likely look ridiculous, so he went more casual. It was easier, anyways. 

Erik knocked on the door and came in. He stood awkwardly for a moment and started to speak, but he was cut off. “Spare me your sympathies, Erik. I've had enough.” Charles rubbed his eyes and his stomach twisted. “I'm sorry about how I acted. You were perfectly reasonable for saying what you said. I was angry, and I still am. Not at you, just…” he took a breath. He could feel his face heating up. Erik waited patiently. “I hate feeling so _pathetic_. Like everyone pities me.”

Erik chuckled. “Oh, my friend. I don't pity you.” Charles couldn't see it, but he was smiling sadly, wringing his hands. 

“Your fussing made it seem so.”

“I was…” Erik thought for a moment, his face reddening as well. “I was worried. I see now I shouldn’t’ve been.”

Charles looked up miserably. His hair had gotten longer, and he hadn't bothered to comb it. The sudden apathy for his appearance and its results were gut wrenching. He gazed directly at Erik, tears in his eyes, almost like he could see again. “Why do you care so much? I'm just a man.”

Erik wanted to run. This was exactly what he'd sworn against, ever since that day at Auschwitz. Caring was dangerous. It only led to pain. But he didn't run. He stepped closer to Charles and, before he could lose his courage, grabbed his face and kissed him. Charles froze in shock for a moment, then let out a sob and kissed back. The knot in his chest loosened and he embraced Erik, never wanting to let him go. 

Erik drew away. He smiled and said quietly, “You might think so, but you're worth so much more to me.”

Charles buried his tear-streaked face into Erik's shoulder, whispering, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Raven watched from the doorway. That went better than she could've ever hoped.


End file.
